Chaos in order

By Naomi McPeters


Which is not our final home

We search for meaning with a desire

Neither nothing can satisfy

Nor was meant to

Until the end of time

When every sad thing

                Will come untrue

When we see the answers and the reasons

When knowledge is revealed

                To every man

No one will ever more wonder

Yet some will be left to their own

Cast from the presence of God

And like the wise man of old

Left with the burden of knowledge

With none to carry and none to hold

Left without purpose, just sadness

                Left without hope

Because they rejected the very Source

And sought the trickling waters of the stream

But never its Beginning

Finding all these worldly pleasures

But not desiring God

And we wonder why we are bleeding—

And anxious and alone

Because we live our life in fear of our dying

Not afraid that our life had no meaning

But that our dying will erase our memory

But even those who remember

Will one day be no more…

And it would be better if we

                Had never been born

                We are left

Peering out to the road

In a darkened room

Behind curtains

                                Afraid and alone

Waiting—

For something that will never come

Searching—

But we don’t know what we’re looking for

Afraid of non-identity

Afraid to be faceless, nameless,

                Unknown.

As humans—

I think we

                Look for order

Even in chaos

Searching for patterns

                To emerge

Even where there are none

We see them everywhere

In madness we look

                For reason

And find none

But we convince ourselves

                It must be there

Why? Must there be an order

to things? Why?

Do our minds subconsciously look

                For a purpose

                For meaning

                Why?

The most reasonable answer

For our reasoning minds

Is that there must be something

Someone, somewhere, guiding us all

Who has shaped our thought

                And our consciousness

A being under perfect control

                With an ordered mind

And it is unknown to us

Unless we are looking

Unless we see the evil and the good

We seek for order

Perfect order set

                Within the mind of God

We so want our own conclusions

That we think we know it all

And we think if we look deeper, we

                Will find the meaning

For every man contains his own truth

Each of us, me and you

Without realizing that with

The rise of man does not come

                The fall of God

But only destruction, despair

For we lose all purpose

                                And hope

While living in this world