For as Long As She Can Remember

By Alyssa Palladino

she dreams to decay,
frail as a fallen flower.
she relies on the Mirror to see if
her Waist expands, each hour.
in the presence of Food,
she will always cower.
critiquing her figure
during each shower.
rare moments of positivity,
the Media will devour.
if only bodies were not
left up to god’s power.

she has nightmares of skin stretching,
the miracle of birth.
never again having
even her current Girth.
she believes her looks
are what give her worth.
a flawed figure, she fears,
more than anything on earth.

to be a dainty devout doll
she would feel alive.
with hip Bones protruding,
then she would thrive.
fighting her Curves to be Skinny,
is her strongest strive.
from this monstrous Mentality
she will never revive.
she has felt this way
ever since she was five.

so down her throat
her fingers go,
despite sunken eyes,
no one will know,
she only feels pretty
when her collarbones show.
she needs, she needs
for that Number to be low.