road trip  

mariah hill

We are in this car

And the wheels are moving much too fast

This is our last resort

Last chance to save ourselves

And we won't

 

He is driving

He is silent

And I know if I look at him, he'll be beautiful

Because he always is

And he always has been

But I can't do it

So I keep staring straight ahead

 

The end is imminent

And yet we continue to run

 

His family doesn't speak to me anymore

They know

Better than he does

I married him

Because, out of the remaining 3 boys,

He smelled the most like his brother

 

I think back to the days I spent in the family home

I'd often catch him gazing at me

Occasionally smiling

But never more

Because his brother's hand was still warm

And it still held mine

 

This time 3 years ago,

We were in this same car

He was driving

And he was dancing

Offbeat to the song that was playing on the radio

And it was the happiest I'll ever see him

I reached out & touched his hair

And for the first time,

I knew I'd made a mistake

 

Now we're trying to save ourselves

Our last resort

The wheels are moving much too fast

This car is a prison cell

 

We are loveless

Strangers

Enemies

The morning sun is burning through the windshield

Mocking us

Emphasizing the gap between our seats

And spotlighting the backseat where pieces of the two of us sleeps in his car seat

We named him after his uncle

But his father has finally caught on

 

The end is imminent

And yet we continue to run