Sincerely Wendy

By Joanna Heath


Ignorant to the proper words,

I stand before you, changed like the season.

The winter has passed, the blooms have begun to sprout,

The cocoon has shed and the wings flutter free,

And darling, I don’t need you anymore.

 

I loved you truly,

I needed you fully,

I dreamt of your skin,

I lived in your eyes,

I paralyzed my heart waiting for my Godot,

 

You couldn’t have saved me,

For one cannot escape from oneself,

What I thought to be love turned to inky desperation,

The sleet fell hard on my dull candle light,

And I stood in the storm pretending the rain drops were rose petals.

 

It isn’t your fault for making me love you,

I am not the only girl who dreamt Peter Pan would rescue,

But however poisonous it was,

Some tiny part of it, some morsel left in the darkest cobwebbed corner,

The invisible parcel that waters the eye, was love.

 

It didn’t provide nourishment,

It didn’t flourish under warm sun,

It didn’t give off oxygen so fresh to clear the mind,

It didn’t quench a thirst from lungs so dry they cracked with each word,

It just planted roots taking over my bones, my veins, leaving me with…leaving me

 

And that is where I saw you,

My sole blossoming weed looked up to see you—the sun,

And fell in love with the warmth of its rays,

Could not live without sparkling gold cascaded across the now blooming field,

And made my home in your marigold happiness

 

But your light was so bright it blinded me,

And I couldn’t comprehend any but you,

I need you to know you when you smile, I smile,

But now I give off my own sunshine,

And I bask in the glow of a Kingdom I create

 

I am not the princess waiting for her prince to save her,

Peter, I am not even the Queen with grace and beauty,

What I need you to see and what I dare to show,

Is the real reason I no longer need your warm sun or orange glow,

I stand in my own castle, with my own people, under my own crown,

 

King.