OD me

By EJ Galvin


Addiction isn’t a word I like to associate with relationships,

But with you, I don’t know any other word to use, I

Can’t think of any. It was so difficult to leave you, because I

Didn’t think you would get as attached as you did. But I was your

Everything, and as soon as I left, you were

Falling. There was no one there to catch you, and I didn’t even watch you

Go down. I thought you were an eagle. I thought you could fly. You were on some

Highway to a place you said you’d never go, and you told me

I was the only thing that would make you come back, if I would give you

Just one more chance, just one more date. I couldn’t bear the thought of you touching me or

Kissing me or holding me anymore. You weren’t the boy I once claimed to

Love, and I wanted nothing to do with what you had become. Your only craving was for

Me, and I wasn’t content with being reduced to just a drug, with being your

Nicotine. My lungs were coated in ash and I couldn’t breathe for the longest time. You were

Obsessed with me, wanting only me, more than you wanted to breathe (or wanted me to breathe).

Perhaps it was the fact that I was the first to let you in, to stoke your flame instead of

Quell it. I was glad to help you glow and flicker into yourself. But it grew too quickly, too

Rampant in its course, and consumed me instead. I never

Saw your demise, only heard of it from friends who saw the craze in your eyes,

Trying to keep you as far away from me as possible. It wasn’t

Until I saw their concern that I had realized how so

Very far you had fallen. Being at the other end of your

Withdrawal was incredibly painful, as you screamed and cried and carved

X marks the spot across your wrists and tried to go to a heaven where I was still

Yours. Walking through the ruins your fire had left me in, any regret, any mourning I had for you was

Zipped up in the back of my mind. By the time you awoke, I had taken what was left of me and I was gone.