Diana

By Savannah Lanz


DIANA

Can you believe them? Those amateurs! I’m so angry I could just spit- I wouldn’t obviously because I’m a lady and ladies like me don’t spit. But do you know what they said to me? They told me I was “too old”! That I had the talent, but I was, get this, “a little past my prime”. Do these casting directors not have eyes? This doesn’t happen to me, I’m a star. My star is on that walk of fame, I don’t get turned down. The sickest part of this cruel joke was that they told me they still had a role for me… as the mother. Me? Moi? The mother? I will not stoop so low as to play some little ingénue’s mother. I’m the ingénue, always have been, always will be. When I, of course, refused the role, the casting director looked disappointed. He shook his head and said to me “Diana, how old are you?” I was appalled. I was even more appalled when he didn’t believe that I was twenty-nine. My agent always told me to lie about my age. That lie was bigger than I’d like to admit, but still, I’m Diana Montgomery. Still a star

closes her eyes and collects herself

I need to collect myself, I have a birthday party to attend. It’s for my granddaughter. She’s turning 2.

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