Olivia Stephani - Epiphany of September 23rd

I tell myself the reason I think she’s pretty is because I want to look like her

I like her dark brown hair and her freckles that look like she spent an hour tattooing them on with henna

She’s taller than me

Nobody is taller than me 

And she stands confident

Unlike me

Her fingers are long

And her hands seem soft

She’s wearing three rings but they keep slipping 

She dresses like I would on days that I don’t see my parents

Her tote bag screams emotionally available 

But the locket necklace she wears says otherwise

I don’t like the book that she’s reading

Thomas Hardy is horrible

But not in the same way that William Faulkner is

So that’s okay I guess

I wonder if she knows I’m thinking all of this

I wonder if she wants to look like me too

I wonder if she’s looking at me

I wonder if she knows that she looks like light shimmering onto a windowpane 

That she sounds like September 23rd

That she smells like black honey all over

And that I just really want to look like her