dad, can we catch fireflies tonight?Caylah Graham

tis the season

where the night sky flickers with neon lights

signaling the impending springtime

my little hands cupped in yours waiting,

impatiently for you

to trust me with the fireflies that glide on warm winds

my arms and legs carry me through the wind

as i try to catch the last of the fireflies before the season

ends, but it’s too late and just like them, my love is not enough to keep you

when the dust settles and the sunlight

is snuffed out by the dark, the moment for you to leave awaits –

i question when i will see you next, and your reply is, in due time.

however, now my nights are spent checking the time.

unfulfilled promises leaving me out in the cold as i’m slapped by the wind

sitting on the rough skin of the concrete waiting

to hear the soft voice of my gentle giant, but we are in passing seasons.

you’re not coming, the truth turning my body rigid, stealing the reflection of light

my innocent eyes once bore, i hurt because you

were not only my first love but you

were my first heartbreak, impossible to mend over time

i can’t compete with your golden girl, her wonder and light

which only the midwest provides, i am polluted like the winds

that carry on gotham streets in the season

of summertime, though in the dark alcoves of my heart i still wait.

the expectations i hold for you, will forever be a weight

that i yearn to shed, so i may forgive you.

poison of my hatred ends, giving rise to a new season

in my life, a time

where anger is swallowed by the winds

acceptance a gift that allows me to see my father in a new light.

i know understand that your light

shines like a firefly, sometimes you must wait

to catch a glimpse peeking through mist in the wind

i can’t control you and i no longer wish for you

to be someone you’re not, so i will reminisce about our good times

and look forward to a new season

reminders of my love for you lie in the season where the sun offers everlasting light

a fever dream of catching flies in the nighttime, ignoring the yawns that await

me as you tuck me in, whispering your love that carries into my ear on the wind